50 Shades of Grey--A Christian's Perspective

Lately I was bothered by this novel that is rapidly gaining popularity. I would guess that you have heard of this "50 Shades of Grey" and, of course, its reputation. Before I start, I would like to announce a disclaimer that I am not personally attacking this novel; there are a lot of novels out there that are questionable in content when in comes to cleanliness. Also, while I talk about novels, please know that discernment is not only needed in choosing the books we read but also in everything--whether it is music, a t.v. show, the people we follow on twitter, and so on. But, I am not saying, also that you should ban and boycott books like 50 Shades of Grey, and even so, I am not preventing you. As Kuya Perci said: "No matter how many times you listen to a song (for example, Lady Gaga's Born This Way), if your heart is okay, then, you're not gonna buy the idea." The same goes for this book.

The concern is not the novel per se, but your heart and your identity.

Recently, a friend asked me whether I have heard of this "50 Shades of Grey", I said no and asked what it was about. And then, she paused for a few moments before answering and said, "Well, the book has a lot of mature contents but the story is nice, really. I just skip the censored stuff." Oh okay. And then two of my other friends, while we were catching up, brought up the topic again. My guy friend says that the novel is hardcore, and erotic and so and so. 

What about this novel, why is it so popular? After a quick search on Google, the reviews say that this novel contains BDSM, bondage, sadism, masochism, and that it is about a girl that seems to be so innocent but turned out to be not innocent after all.

                   "Erotic novel 50 Shades of Grey' unites gals, unnerves some guys."

Hmmm...

At first glance, I thought that, yeah, the highly captivating and the kinky nature of this novel  make it popular. Of course, it's exciting, and more--it is easy to access (available on e-book). And it is easy to think that even though it is wrong to feed the soul with trash, hey, nobody has to know, right?

Or maybe, you're asking me in your head or maybe even convicting me hypocrite as my guy friend said: "Come on, Abby, seriously?" with a 'you've gotta be kidding me' look on his face, justifying himself with being normal and teenager with all the hormones raging.

I'll go back to that later.

My question is, is it really about the nature of the novel that makes it popular? Or is it the the heart of the people who buy that idea?

You can always claim to just like the story and skip the mature parts. Oh sure, of course, nobody questions that.

But I write not to judge those who write questionable song lyrics or books that defile; for I myself is a sinner. I am writing to you hoping that what I may share will help us to be more victorious Christians. There are 3 points from the Bible that help us live a godly life:

1.JUDGE EVERYTHING.

1 Thessalonians 5:21-22: "test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil."

In another version it says: "test everything carefully" (NASB). The word examine came from the Greek word "dokimazo," which means "analyze," "test," or "prove." It means that everything must be tested for genuineness, distinguish between true or false, separate good from evil. And he wants us to judge everything critically. It is repeated over and over in the Bible that we should test everything. God requires us to be discriminating in everything that we accept--this includes everything that we devote our time and attention to. Before you read this book, I assume that somebody has recommended it to you and that you know what to expect in this book. Or even if you were clueless about the material, did you test it?

To be practical, in every purchase that we consumers make, we weigh the pros and cons of the item. For example: you want an iPhone4s but because you want it, you have to test the product before you buy it. Questions must be asked in order to satisfy the mind and not disappoint at the end. So you must ask yourself whether you can afford it--whether it is practical. If you have a friend who has one, ask what are the strengths and weaknesses of the product. And if possible, which is almost always, test the product before you commit to it. Same goes with the music we listen to and the books that we read. It would be best if you read the overview of the book in order to know whether it the book will add to your knowledge or will only increase your appetite for worldly things. If a friend has recommended you the book, ask why he/she recommends it. Similarly, test your heart. Is the content of your heart aligned with God? Ask yourself why you want to read this book. Do not be swayed by what is popular, what is trending, what all your friends have read. Just because everyone is talking about it does not mean that you have to read it yourself because you already feel out of place. Be keen, be discerning for you do not know the strategies of the enemy. It is better to test everything that we lay our hands to and eyes upon, everything that enters our ears, hearts, and minds than to fall into the trap of the enemy. 

Matthew 10:16

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.
  
>Is this book clean? Does it nourish your soul or does it only feed you trash? Would God want you to read this book? 

2 Corinthians 10:5

"..take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

>Are the thoughts produced by reading this book obedient to Christ?

In Proverbs 23:7 it says there, "as a man thinks in his heart, so is he." Is what in your mind reflective of who you are in Christ? And in Proverbs 4:23,  it says, "guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." And so, do not let sin enter or dwell in your heart for it destroys life.  


Matthew 5:29
So if your eye--even your good eye--causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.(NLT)

SIN REMAINS BUT MUST NOT REIGN:

"For so long as we remain cooped up in this prison of our body, traces of sin will dwell in us; but if we faithfully hold fast to the promise given us by God in baptism, they shall not dominate or rule."-John Calvin

It is undeniable that we still fall to sin and are constantly tempted. However, through God's grace, it is possible to flee from the trap of the devil.

1 THESSALONIANS 4:3-5

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

1 CORINTHIANS 6:18

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

2. CLING TO WHAT IS GOOD.

>Is 50 Shades of Grey "good"? Is it in agreement with the infallible Word of God? Or does it only cause you to sin?

"Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good" (Romans 12:9). The expressions "hold fast" or "cling to" (NASB) speak of jealousy safeguarding the truth. "That which is good" is truth that accords with God's Word. The word good is kalos, meaning something that is inherently good. It isn't just something that is lovely to look at or good in appearance and it does not refer to which is entertaining. It does not refer to which is satisfying to the flesh. It refers to what is good, true, accurate, authentic, dependable--that which is in agreement with the infallible Word of God. When you find such truth, embrace it and guard it like treasure. 

3. SHUN WHAT IS EVIL.

As a response to what my guy friend told me, well, porn is porn. It is unclean, definitely impure, and absolutely detestable to the Lord. It doesn't matter whether all the reviews say that it is liberating for women, that it improves marriages and sexual relationships. It does not matter because it is still filled with trash,  written to feed our sexual appetites.

Matthew 5:28

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman [OR MAN] with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

James 1:14-15

But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

I have written this as an appeal especially for women since we are talking about a book. It is a fact that men are more visual (they resort more to pornographic videos and magazines) while women are more of verbal (reading). That is why books like 50 Shades of Grey are appealing to women. Again you may argue that you just like the story, that's it. Or you may say that it's not a big deal, you are of legal age anyway. But remember that more than an act, sin is power. Deceiving you to thinking that you are in control and it will not ruin you. Sin leads you to a downward spiral until you hit the rock bottom. Therefore,

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. (1 Peter 5:7-9 )

Being a woman myself, I know what is in our hearts and the issues we struggle with. However, we should not let sin prevail and take over our lives because are of God's and that we are called to be clean and holy. Sin is not our identity in Christ but righteousness. 

It is really quite alarming how this book is so popular and that people who have read the book enjoy and recommend it (it's all over the internet and twitter). I cannot agree more with the tweet below: WAKE UP!

1 Corinithians 10:23

Everything is permissible, but not everything is helpful. Everything is permissible, but not everything builds up.

>My brothers and sisters, does this kind of book build you up or only destroy you? Do not be deceived. Again: judge everything, cling to what is good and shun evil. 

Remember that you were bought at a price, you are not your own and that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). Ask God for the strength to resist temptations

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Galatians 5:1

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

James 4:7

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 

Romans 13:14

Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.

"clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ"--Be full of Jesus, clothe yourself of who He is, of what He does. Then, you will have no time and interest to give into temptation. Leave no space for the enemy to entice you. If you are falling on this sin, ask yourself: what were you doing in the first place and why do you have the time to entertain the temptation? Were you like King David--was idle and became tempted? * 

"do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh"--And when you are idle and are tempted, to not feed your curiosity because if you do, later on you will be feeding your sin.

"Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death." (James 1:15)

Idleness--> Temptation--> Curiosity--> Sin--> Death

It was a difficult for me to write this since I was thinking that maybe I'm too young to have a discussion about books that have pornographic content. Even if people read this, they might question my authority and credibility. My confidence is written in 1 Timothy 4:12: "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." Please do understand that I do not speak on my own and I speak out of love. My hope and my prayer is that you my brothers and sisters will have a revelation from God and that you may resolve whatever issues you have in your heart. May you also be so discerning in choosing the materials, whether it be music, books, etc., that you expose yourselves with. If these things are close to your heart, then I pray that you willingly surrender these things to God and be pure in mind and heart.  Because if you are His, at the end of the day, everything, again everything--whether it be studies, problems, unforgiveness, and even lust, will bow down to His Lordship. 

If you are struggling with this sin, it will be very helpful if you are accountable to someone who will challenge you when your behavior is not in line with the Word. Therefore, it is important to get connected to godly people and find someone who can mentor to you. This may be difficult, however, since there is something about this sin that makes one feel shameful and it may affect your relationship or communication with the person accountable to you. Even so, God's grace and mercy is way more powerful than all the sinful contents of your heart. Come to Him and He is willing to receive you again. Do not let any sin, no matter how big and heavy, hinder you from His loving presence. And if you cannot do this alone, again, have someone accountable to you.

James 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

"More than a change in behavior, what we really need is a change in heart."

Romans 6:13-14

Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.

Psalm 139:23-24

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

And oh, by the way, the Bible knows no grey area..it's black and white ;)

Notes: Considerable portions of Judge everything, Sin remains but must not reign, Cling to what is good, and Shun what is evil were taken from John MacArthur's "Fool's Gold" (2005) and I do not intend to claim mine his words.
*Thank you to Kuya Andrew for the podcast for Hari ng Sablay: Lust of the flesh.

Outside the Normal Curve

Whenever people ask me what my testimony is, I cannot help but be amazed all over on how God has planned everything for me even before I knew that I needed Him. This blog is written in the light that I might be able to share and encourage people as they walk with God and that they may experience Him as I have. My hope and my prayer is that you readers be blessed as you read how my life has been and how it is being transformed by the Almighty God.

It's been a little more than a year since I got involved with my church. For many people, one year is only a short period of time. But as for me, what God has been showing me for this 'short period' of time has more weight and meaning than what I've been doing for the past 17 years of my life. It is only until last year that God has shown me how to live and to die at same time.

So here's my story:

It was June last year, I was outside the office of the vice dean to have my schedule adjusted and I happened to come 4 hours earlier than the adjustment time to avoid the queue. I sat there patiently and then there was a  beautiful woman who approached the chairs, she was familiar to me. I moved my bag from the chair beside me and motioned her to take a sit. And then I said, "You were my classmate in Intsoci (Intro to Sociology)", but she doesn't remember me. Anyhow, we learned that we are both taking up BS-Psych and having discovered our similarities we started chatting. She then began sharing about how she is in faith that she is gonna have the schedule for her last term that she wanted and that God has been so faithful in her life and throughout her stay in the course. She then invited me to attend the La Salle cluster every tuesdays as they walk with God and I said yes. Honestly, I said yes not because I was interested in the cluster. There was something in me that made me say yes, perhaps because I was curious about what is something in her that makes her a godly woman. She is so pretty that I wondered how could she have not gone a life that is otherwise. How could she be so friendly, get people's cellphone numbers and talk about God to people she just met? And so I went to cluster although I did not really want to, it's just that I already said yes and I am very careful not to take back what I have said.

I'm so glad I did. The cluster family is more than just 'feel good', there is a sense of belonging that I knew that I'd keep coming back. Although I still have my bad habits that time, God slowly removed that away from me as He is introducing Himself as my great Savior and Creator. I was patiently discipled by Ate Lorr and I knew that someday I'd like to be like her. I did not know how but then I saw her life and I said I wanted to have that kind of life. And whenever I attend cluster, I see people as more than happy, they are secured. I thought they were just happy and positive people. They are more than that. They are filled with grace and more than optimistic, they are faithful. How could people be so selfless and sincere? Even when Ate Lorr was discussing One2One with me, I can't help but think: why would she waste her time on me? and why would she invest in a relationship with me? To be honest, I did not know how broken I was and how in need I was till someone cared, till someone pointed it out through her actions.

I even remember the first time I attended the Night of Worship, it was July. When I came in, people were raising their hands, eyes shut and mouth open. People were worshiping like I have never witnessed before. How could all these people be overwhelmed altogether? Although I found that weird, or different from what I know, I knew that this is my destiny. I have never been so sure in my whole life. As I have said, I did not know how to start. How would I stop cursing, drinking, being snobbish and judgmental and so on? I did not know. I was a sheep without a Shepherd. But I knew that I belonged here, in God's kingdom. I knew that I would be one of those 'weird' people shouting praises to God. And it's almost as if I can see God smiling at me, grinning and saying, "Finally. The plan that I have weaved is unfolding right before you My daughter. You know it."

God welcomed me and I just know that He has been waiting for me all the while, like the Father in the parable of the prodigal son. My life suddenly had a great value, and everything had a meaning. It's as if I found a really great treasure, I really did. I remember one time that I felt like I wanted to shout out to everyone the good news. I felt like I wanted everyone to know this. How could you not know this? How come I only knew this now?! This is it!!

However, it is not that easy. Maybe the reason why not everyone knows this is because, it is really difficult. It takes a great deal of grace and willingness to change.It was a struggle to let go and grip at the same time the worldly things in my life. But slowly, I succumbed to God. I started reading the Bible and attending all the services I could attend. People around me did not believe the change that was happening. I'm surprised at myself too for having this craving to read the Word and understand it. Though I still fall to my many sins, I never enjoyed them anymore. I was never the same.

It was made realized to me how unbecoming my life was before I had an encounter with God. Later on, people from cluster would laugh off that I snobbed and glared at them at first. I would laugh it off too, knowing that I had that unpleasant attitude, but that is when I began to feel that I was really changing. From hearing the Word of God to doing the things of God. There is just this unquenchable desire to meet Him, to have an encounter with Him and have an intimacy with Him.

After Victory Weekend, there were more trials that tested my faith. There are times when I would cry out to God. That is when I felt that to be a Christian is not easy and then I fully understood what Ate Lorr said that Christianity is for the strong. Through the pains and persecutions, I held on to God. I would be still as my life verse says, "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). Everything that I am and all that is happening to me will bow down before Him. At the end of the day, all the tears, bitterness and complaints, all the pieces of my broken heart will bow down to His Lordship.

Psalm 30:11-12: You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.

And so is this blog made. It's not really about me, but it is about Him--how He changed my life and How capable He is for orchestrating everything to being. That is why I am dead and alive at the same time. Dead to myself but alive in Him and for Him.

And as for the title of the blog, "outside the normal curve", it is because I believe that I do not fall under it. Sir Andrew told me this, that the probability of me getting to the cluster is very slim. I am a deviant. Usually, those who attend are members' friends, classmates, and friends of friends. But I was reached out through the queue of adjustment, though the faith of a person who eventually became an inspiration. And I also believe that what God has done does not belong to the norm. I have been set-apart for Him.

My prayer is that people will be reached out and made realized that they should not conform to the "norm". God has very specific plans for each one of us and I hope that many people will be blessed as I have been and continuing to be blessed by His people. I pray that if you are a leader, you continue to invite people and be a living testimony. I don't want to admit this but I remember, Ate Lorr was my classmate and then she was seated at the back. I was seated at the front row (the only one at front row because I don't want to be seated beside anyone :o) and I really disliked the people at the back because they were so noisy. And then when the reporting came, I thought of my revenge. I threw all sorts of questions so that they will not be able to answer. Yes, I questioned Ate Lorr why her costume was like that, why it isn't like this, what is the difference between this and this and so on (I'm sorry Ate Lorr. haha). God must have been smiling at me knowing that she is gonna be my discipler one day. If she had remembered me, took it against me and not invited me to cluster, I do not know where I would be now. My point is, let us be patient with one another for God works in millions of ways we do not understand. Perhaps the worst thing be could do to another is to deem that person as hopeless, cannot be saved. This is why I look-up to the people of God who willingly devote their time and invest in relationships to bring people closer to Him. Looking at my two favorite mentors, Ate Cams and Sir Andrew, they are able to worship God and serve His people through grace and faith. They always encourage and strengthen, they are always patient and sincere. And I believe that they are able to do so though Him who gives strength. I pray that we, young leaders, imitate Christ Jesus as our leaders have done and believe that someday, we may be like them or even more, all for God's kingdom.

Hebrews 3:13-But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

Today, I am making disciples for God and I am saying this not to boast but as a testimony of how God has changed my life. I've been walking with Him for a year now and I will continue to do so for the rest of my life. 

Psalm 63:3-4: Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.

:)